Hey, ho! Here we be goin’!
Liam here, Liam Goodwell, amongst a passel o’ Goodwells an’ Mickelwaits, sweatin’ shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh in the bed o’ Grandpap’s big ol’ International pickup! We’re a’bouncin’ and bumpin’ over ruts and potholes deep enough to sink a fat sow, (Grandpap don’t aim t’miss a’one!) an’ we’re a’beamin’ and a’screechin’ fer joy, pure and true!
‘Cause we Goodwells, and near all the Mickelwaits), we’re off on a vay-cay-tion!
Ain’t never been on one o’them before this! Oh, sure, we go off on the odd fishin’ trek over to the Mississippi, or closer to the Big Platte, an’ we’ll camp under the stars fer the night, build us a far, smoke us some marshmallers and brewtime coffee in a tin can.
But this here time, this here, this is a fer real, durned tootin’ actuality of a git-away gone!
All the way to St. Louie! Saint Louie! Clear to the other side o’ our blessed state of Missouruh! Why, if we play ar’ cards right, we may get us across the Ol’ Miss and his Illinois! Law! Law! We’re movin’ on down the line, all us Goodwells ,and near all the Mickelwaits, on the road right this very minute caravannin’ three ve-hicles off to a new adventure! We aim to drive till we git there, ’cause when we do? When we do?!!!!
We’re, all us Goodwells, and near all the Mickelwaits, we’re checkin’ ourselves into a MOTEL!
A Blessed Hallelujah Praise Jesus MOTEL! With indoor plumbin’ an’ wood on the inside walls an’ a swimmin’ pool with painted blue tiles under the water!
Lord! Lord! Fergive my blasphemation, but Jesus, Lord God, you shore are blessin’ us Goodwells, and near all the Mickelwaits!
My e-magination, it’s fairly takin’ over my brain with light and joy and visions o’ swimmin’ in a hole jest meant fer that there! Ain’t no horse been slobberin’ in it, ain’t no fish been feedin’ in it, nor floatin’ dead on the top. Ain’t no skeeters buzzin’ along the hazy slip o’ air skimmin’ jest above. Ain’t no mud on the bottom, ain’t no green slime on the top.
Ain’t gotta watch fer no copperheads, neither.
We all got us swimmin’ at-tar from the Montgomery Ward down to Kansas City, brung to us special seein’ as the catalogue order would take too long.
We are some lucky ducks, ain’t we?
An’ more’n that? As if we could handle the un-abated de-light of any more’n that?!
We ain’t payin’ fer one bit, not one iota! Not a’ one! Even the swimmin’ at’tar, it was a gift.
Grandpap, he been makin’ hisself scare of late, since Daddy an’ Leston Pike been conspirin’ on the down low, come stompin’ int’ the kitchen week before week before last, fair shoutin’.
“I’m a’doin’ it! I’m a’doin’ it! We takin’ this family away fer a spell! We’re takin’ us on a sojourny jest fer the fun o’ the doin’ it!”
Why, he went on an’ on’ an’ we all, well, we was all jest froze in our tracks. Well, we was froze until we lept out our skins in un-di-luted rapture!
Hallelujah an’ Hark the Herald an’ Hosannas to the High! We be takin’ ourselves, all us Goodwells, an’ near all the Mickelwaits, on a va-ca-tion! Law!
‘T’wudn’t till some time later we was to chance upon the fact this here was orchestrated by, and paid in full by, the Judge.
But Katy bar the door, we wudn’t figurin’ on no conspiracy, no how! We was a’singin’ and a’wavin’ at passersby and bein’ as gleeful as a pig in a mud puddle!
Any menace a’brewin’ in the real world didn’t mean much to us Goodwells, and near all the Mickelwaits this day!
We was goin’ swimmin’ in a pool meant jest fer that there!